In my personal opinion I think you should divorce her, how can she claim to love you and want a future with you when she is a lying to you after 3 years.
You have had plenty of good advice on this thread but it does not seem to have sunk home yet.
If a guy who had never had sex before marriage and finds out or believes that his wife has betrayed him, its the biggest shock of his life.
I cry sometimes, alone.
Dwelling in past is of no value very true but at the same time your past is also a part of your identity, I am not sure what is wrong in acknowledging it even if not wearing it with pride.